老兵日志 发表于 2019-2-3 22:22:40

【今日夜听】从不发脾气的人,最不能深交

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<div style="text-align:center"><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">前几天,有个读者跟我吐槽,说和她最好的朋友闹掰了。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">我问她为什么。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">她说,她和这个朋友很聊得来,有很多共同喜欢,共同感兴趣的东西。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">唯一的问题就是这个朋友脾气不好,刀子嘴豆腐心,还特别小孩子气,时常动不动就发脾气。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">这次闹掰只是因为她迟到了一会儿,朋友就拉着脸说了她好一会儿。她觉得这个朋友不珍惜她,两个人一来一往,就闹掰了。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">其实,我不知道别人怎么想,但是我是越来越觉得,跟这种脾气看起来不太好,有脾气就爆发的人交往,真的很轻松了。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(255, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important;font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">相比那些笑里藏刀的笑面虎,我反而觉得会发脾气的人,更值得深交。</span></div>
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<div style="text-align:center"><img alt="图片" data-albumpriv="undefined" data-from="web" src="http://www.oldkids.cn/upload/2019/02/03/photo_20190203220543664.jpg" style="width:500px;height:262px"></div>
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<div style="text-align:center"><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体;font-weight:bold">1.会发脾气的人,都会很坦诚</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">在电影《一个叫欧维的男人决定去死》中,欧维就是一个这样的人,他脾气古怪,嫌东嫌西,带着坚不可摧的原则、每天恪守的常规以及随时发飙的脾性在社区晃来晃去,被背地里称为“地狱来的恶邻”。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">他每天一大早就四处巡视,脚踏车没停进格线,他要发脾气;垃圾没有按规定分类,他要发脾气;别人家的草坪不修剪,他要发脾气;甚至面对一只掉了毛的流浪猫,他也要发脾气。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">可是就是这样一个经常发脾气、好像对谁都不怎么友好的人,却一次次因为帮助别人,延迟自己“自杀”大计。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">他每次准备自杀的时候,都会因为别人向他求助而不告而终:帮忙照看邻居的孩子、帮助隔壁的孕妇学车、收留因为出柜被赶出家门的男孩......最后得到了所有人的喜欢和爱戴。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">其实越会发脾气的人,越有一颗坦诚简单的心。他们看起来很容易生气,其实不过是简单直接的维护自己内心的秩序与原则。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">正如林奕含所说:</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体;color:rgb(255, 0, 0)">“忍耐不是美德,把忍耐当成美德是这个伪善的世界维持它扭曲的秩序的方式,生气才是美德。”</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">是的,一个人是否值得深交,就看他是否足够真诚。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">每一次发脾气,其实就是昭示自己的底线和原则,如果跟一个人交往,他从不坦露自己的原则,从不维护自己的底线,那或许只适合当相逢一笑的泛泛之交,但并不适合推心置腹深入交往。</span>
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<div style="text-align:center"><img alt="图片" data-albumpriv="undefined" data-from="web" src="http://www.oldkids.cn/upload/2019/02/03/photo_20190203220544570.jpg" style="width:500px;height:275px"></div>
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<div style="text-align:center"><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体;font-weight:bold">2.会发脾气的人,比较不世故</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">王尔德说:</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体;color:rgb(255, 0, 0)">对于那些我们漠不关心的人,我们总能做到温文尔雅。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">深以为然。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">不管是对朋友、对同事、对家人,要想不发脾气,其实很简答,世故一点,漠不关心一点就好了。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">之前有个朋友跟我说,她和她的“完美男友”分手了,她这个男朋友看起来很完美,时时都依着她,从没跟她红过脸,看起来是一个完美的好好先生,让她觉得自己找到了世界上最好的男人。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">但是最后,他们还是因为一点小事分手了,完美男友这次却全面爆发:我之前已经那么容忍你了,你还想怎样,我之前100次想要发火,都忍下去了,你还想怎样......</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">把所有问题都推在了女生身上。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">蔡康永曾经在奇葩说里说过:</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体;color:rgb(255, 0, 0)">“情商高并非是指不发脾气,而是要合理地发脾气,让自己的情绪可以顺畅地表达,舒服地做自己,才能让自己和世界都开心。”</span>
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<div><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">其实年纪越大,就越会发现,身边对你笑脸相迎的人很多,真正会跟你发脾气指出问题所在的人很少,毕竟,维持一个表面的和谐,维持一个“好人”的形象,是成年人最擅长做的事情。</span></div>

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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">但是,正如鲁迅所说:</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">“人世间真是难处的地方,说一个人‘不通世故’,固然不是好话,但说他‘深于世故’,也不是好话。”</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体;color:rgb(255, 0, 0)">可以与“深于世故”的人谋天下,不能与不露声色的人共此生。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">相比而言,我更想和一个会暴露自己脾气的人深交,也不想和一个一直戴着漂亮面具,从不推心置腹的人深交。</span>
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<div style="text-align:center"><img alt="图片" data-albumpriv="undefined" data-from="web" src="http://www.oldkids.cn/upload/2019/02/03/photo_20190203220543647.jpg" style="width:500px;height:281px"></div>
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<div style="text-align:center"><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体;font-weight:bold">3.会发脾气,关系清明也长久</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">松浦弥太郎在《今天也要用心过生活》这本书里说:</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">我倾向于把坏了的东西继续使用,甚至觉得东西坏掉的那一刻才是你们的关系真正开始的时候,不要急于马上丢弃添购新品,而是下决心修好它。与人交往也是一样,经过冲撞、摩擦、破裂产生嫌隙,然后慢慢修复它,这才是你们深层次关系的真正开始。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体;color:rgb(255, 0, 0)">这个世界上没有一拍即合的灵魂,发脾气只是一个磨合的过程。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">相比一言不发等矛盾变大,不如在每次发生冲动的时候就地解决。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">在美剧《极品老伴》中,弗雷迪和斯图尔特就是这样两个脾气都不好,却一直相爱相杀的一对儿,他们日常的对话中的那些金句,看似毒舌,却又充满了爱。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">有一集斯图尔特预约了医生,弗雷迪得知后,明明担心,却不忘损一句“你有什么问题吗?除了你那俨然变成恐怖片的身材之外?”</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">斯图尔特立刻生气的撕了回去:“只是检查一下我的胃功能如何,免得看到你就吐出来。”</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体;color:rgb(255, 0, 0)">从不发脾气,总是在积攒怒气怨气的人是不值得深交的。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">真正重视一段关系,真正想要和一个人深交,是不会给这段关系埋下很多雷的,两个人你来我往,把所有的矛盾和冲突就地解决,这样不管是朋友也好,同事也好,伴侣也好,关系才能清明也长久。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">有句话说:“认识的人越多,我越喜欢狗”,因为狗足够简单,喜欢就是喜欢,不喜欢就是不喜欢。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体">与人也是如此,不要害怕发脾气,深交需要彼此情绪适度的外露,交往的双方在情绪交换的过程中了解真实的彼此。</span>
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<div><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important"><span style="font-size:24px;font-family:黑体;color:rgb(255, 0, 0)">交心的第一步,是让人看到你的真心。</span>
<div style="text-align:center"><img alt="图片" data-albumpriv="undefined" data-from="web" src="http://www.oldkids.cn/upload/2018/11/24/photo_20181124192126247.gif" style="width:480px;height:136px">
<div style="text-align:center"><span style="margin:0px;padding:0px;max-width:100%;color:rgb(0, 0, 0);text-shadow:rgb(204, 193, 217) 2px 2px 10px;box-sizing:border-box !important;word-wrap:break-word !important;font-size:24px;font-family:黑体"><span style="font-weight:bold">老兵制作 &nbsp;</span><span style="font-style:italic;font-weight:bold">图片来影视剧截图</span><span style="display:none"></span></span></div>
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<p align="center"><embed height="0" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" allownetworking="all" flashvars="loop=true&amp;autoPlay=true&amp;url=http://cdn5.lizhi.fm/audio/2019/01/31/5023926179820992518_hd.mp3&amp;trackId=1771717&amp;trackName=Once%20Upon%20A%20Time&amp;artistName=Michael%20Dulin" width="0" allowscriptaccess="always" quality="high" invokeurls="false" src="http://s1.music.126.net/style/swf/LofterMusicPlayer.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent"></p></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></span></div></td></tr></tbody></table></div>

绿蔷薇 发表于 2019-2-3 22:59:50

言之有理,城府太深的人确实可怕,相反经常发脾气的人,来的简单相处~

绿蔷薇 发表于 2019-2-3 23:00:39

谢谢老兵的分享,晚安~

醉雪胡杨 发表于 2019-2-4 06:56:55

人与人之间,因缘而相识,因真而相知........

醉雪胡杨 发表于 2019-2-4 07:04:01

精彩,好文章,欣赏问好!祝新年快乐!

欧阳风刀 发表于 2019-2-4 14:35:25

不要害怕发脾气,深交需要彼此情绪适度的外露,交往的双方在情绪交换的过程中了解真实的彼此。

欧阳风刀 发表于 2019-2-4 14:35:40

颇有哲理,赞一个。

欧阳风刀 发表于 2019-2-4 14:35:54

感谢精彩推介,新年快乐!
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